Ritual
by RosalieAnneliese
Summary: Written by request. Alex comes home from work one day in need of a very special kind of attention.


**A/N: The person who requested this story was very specific about the kind of unique scene they wanted to see and how they wanted it to be written. This is a very loving story that has more to do with psychological and emotional needs than punishment or discipline. It is dark, but beautiful at the same time. I loved writing it.**

Alex stood motionless in her pencil skirt and heels, her arms folded across her chest as if hugging herself. Her shoulders were hunched over as if in physical pain, her pretty face pinched, her haunted baby blue eyes staring at nothing. The knuckles of her left hand were white, her fingers tightly gripping the handle of her briefcase. The elevator dinged, alerting the blonde ADA that she had arrived at her destination. In her zombie-like trance, Alex stepped off of the elevator and floated down the familiar hallway, letting herself into her apartment. Somehow she managed to kick off her heels and set down her jacket and briefcase, leaving them in a heap on the floor. Alex glanced down and instantly felt safe, seeing Olivia's shoes by the door, knowing that her beloved detective was home. All Alex had to do was ask and she knew that Olivia would be more than willing to take care of her.

"Livy." Alex curled up fetal on the couch, unable to bring herself to do much else, her body rigid and tense.

Olivia's ears perked up when she heard Alex call for her, concerned by Alex's flat, lifeless tone. Alex only called her 'Livy' when she was distressed and needed to be cuddled, comforted, and babied. The brunette detective immediately abandoned the laundry and went in search of her beloved wife. She saw Alex's things discarded carelessly on the floor, which normally would require a scolding at the very least, but one look at Alex told Olivia that now was not the time to be enforcing rules. Olivia knew exactly what was happening, it had happened before, and she made everything about her facial expression, tone of voice, and body language extremely tender and loving as she very slowly approached her wife lying on the couch, being careful not to startle Alex as she gently picked her up and settled her comfortably on her lap to cuddle her close to her heart. Olivia rocked Alex in a slow, soothing motion, reaching down to rhythmically pat Alex's skirt-clad bottom, hoping that the loving action would both soothe her and snap her back into reality. Olivia felt Alex reach up to tightly wrap her arms around her neck, clinging to her for dear life, and buried her face on her shoulder, hiding away from the world. Olivia did not press Alex to speak, knowing that she would speak when she was ready. Until then, Olivia was perfectly content to cuddle her precious little one on her lap for as long as Alex wanted to be held. Olivia had received the phone call an hour ago, so she was not alarmed to see Alex in such a state. She had expected it.

"He's dead." Alex's emotionless voice pierced the silence after what felt like hours but was probably only forty-five minutes.

"I know, baby." Olivia pulled Alex even closer to her to give her more physical contact and a better sense of security.

It had been many, many years since Liam Connors made the brutal attempt on Alex's life, viciously turning her world upside down and cruelly ripping her away from the love of her life as she was stashed away in Witness Protection for her own good. Upon her return to her life, Alex spent many nights being rocked in Olivia's arms as she screamed bloody murder, haunted by chaotic nightmares. Therapy had helped enough to allow Alex to return to work. What helped even more was the tender strength and unwavering guidance and consistency of her loving wife. The news of Liam Connors' death in prison was like a knife ripping open an old wound.

"Let me see those pretty eyes, angel." Olivia cooed.

Very slowly, Alex obediently pulled back just enough to allow Olivia to see her face clearly, keeping her tight grip on Olivia, needing the physical contact to keep her grounded lest she go spiraling into the depths of insanity where no one could reach her. Alex's eyes still stared at nothing, focused on a spot in the distance over Olivia's shoulder. Alex knew exactly what Olivia was doing by asking to see her eyes.

"Please help me." Alex spoke three familiar words, words that she had spoken countless times over the years. This was the beginning of their ritual.

The ritual had been painstakingly designed over the course of twenty-one years for moments just like this one when Alex's world became too frightening to even consider dealing with, and so far it had a 100% success rate as long as it was done correctly. Being careful not to jostle Alex, Olivia carried her down the hall, through the bedroom, and into the master bathroom, depositing the pretty blonde gently on her feet. With tender hands, Olivia helped Alex undress. Alex's nakedness was an important part of the ritual. In order for Olivia to properly help her, Alex had to expose her soul. Once the ritual was complete and Olivia was satisfied that all of Alex's psychological and emotional needs had been tended to, Alex would be re-dressed into a pair of cozy pajamas and taken to the kitchen for a nutritious meal, satisfying her physical needs, before being tucked into bed for the night. Olivia reached up and carefully untied Alex's hairband from her ponytail, letting Alex's long blonde hair fall loose around her shoulders. Olivia took a moment to lovingly brush Alex's hair out of her eyes and caress her sweet face. Alex nuzzled her cheek into Olivia's palm. Olivia's hands were loving and strong; whether they were tending to Alex when she was ill and feverish, making love to her in the sensual darkness of their bedroom, or delivering a well-deserved punishment spanking to her naughty bare bottom, one thing that Alex knew full well was that Olivia's hands would never do her harm. Olivia would rather die a thousand deaths than cause her sweet baby harm or distress.

Olivia gently helped her naked wife sit on the closed toilet seat lid. Working quickly and efficiently, and keeping up a steady stream of sweet nothings, Olivia drew Alex a lavender-scented bath and carefully guided Alex to step into the soothing warmth and slowly sink down to sit in the tub. Olivia knelt by the side of the tub and began to very carefully and very gently bathe Alex, making certain to take her time and not rush the process, still cooing lovingly to her silent wife. Uttering three words had taken all of whatever little strength Alex had left and she wasn't going to speak again until the next morning unless Olivia asked her a direct question. For now, Alex sat silently in the tub and let her loving wife expertly tend to her. She could feel Olivia's warm hands on her skin as she washed her body and hair. The skin-to-skin contact was an important part of the process. Olivia sat on the edge of the tub as she washed Alex's long legs and feet, being careful not to tickle her. Playfulness could and would come later when Alex was feeling like herself again, but now was not the time. This ritual was always carried out with the utmost dignity and respect to slowly and lovingly coax Alex out of her frightened, nearly catatonic state. One wrong move, one harsh syllable and Alex would be rendered unreachable.

"That's my good girl." Olivia praised kindly as she guided Alex out of the tub. Upon careful inspection, she thought she could detect just the slightest hint of a smile playing on Alex's lips. Those were Alex's favorite words to hear and Olivia said them to her every single day, often going out of her way to say them multiple times a day.

Olivia continued to coo to Alex as she dried her off with a soft, fluffy towel. She blow-dried Alex's long blonde hair, gently combing through the tangles with her fingers. With Alex successfully clean, dry, and somewhat more relaxed than she had been when she first arrived home although she was still somewhat tense, Olivia led her still naked wife out to the bedroom where she sat down on the bed and gently guided Alex over her lap, making certain that Alex was lying comfortably and fully supported with her head resting on a pillow, her legs stretched out on the bed, and her middle slightly elevated by Olivia's strong thighs. Olivia picked up a bottle of baby lotion specifically made for sensitive skin and drizzled some onto her hands before gently and carefully massaging the lotion onto Alex's back, making certain that all the lotion had been properly absorbed before moving on to massage more lotion onto Alex's bottom and thighs, again taking her time and not rushing the process. Slow and gentle motions were imperative. Once all the lotion had been absorbed, Olivia spent a few minutes sitting quietly in the peaceful silence tenderly patting Alex's pale bottom in a loving gesture. Alex often liked having her bottom patted while she and Olivia cuddled. It made her feel safe and protected and loved. When she sensed that it was time, the brunette detective raised up her strong right hand and began to spank her beloved wife with slow, even, light spanks. It was almost hypnotic.

When Alex asked for a stress-relief spanking, Olivia often varied the speed and intensity of the spanks to shock Alex's nervous system into releasing whatever excess stress it was holding on to. Punishment spankings were always given very hard and fast, using almost all of Olivia's strength to send a signal to the naughty blonde that a particular behavior was not going to be tolerated in the Benson-Cabot household. On this occasion, however, Olivia spanked very steadily and methodically. Olivia's goal was not to shock Alex's system, nor was it to correct naughty or defiant behavior, it was to coax Alex back into reality. Unlike a punishment spanking where there was usually multiple implements involved, today there would be no implements, only bare flesh to bare flesh. As she spanked, Olivia continued to coo to Alex, assuring her that she was very loved, that she was perfectly safe over Olivia's lap where she belonged, and that she was a very good girl. When Alex's pink bottom was beginning to turn red, the first whimper escaped her lips.

"You can do it, princess. Come back to me." Olivia cooed, feeling a surge of hope, continuing to spank steadily and lightly. Keeping the spanks light made it possible to spank for long periods with just her hand. These ritual spankings were always very long, much longer than any other kind of spanking Alex received.

Alex burst into hysterical sobs so suddenly that even Olivia was caught off guard, but she was careful not to break the steady stream of light spanks. Alex would be allowed to cry herself out over Olivia's lap for as long as it took. Alex heaved a deep, shuddery sigh and her body seemed to melt into Olivia's lap, going completely limp. She was aware that she was being spanked, could feel the soft blows dancing on her tender skin. Alex continued to sob as her wife lovingly spanked her, trying to focus on the gentle sting in her bottom to give her something real to hold on to. Alex cried herself out, safe and loved over Olivia's lap. Her heaving sobs eventually died down to a steady stream of tears, which eventually died down to a trickle, which eventually died down to sniffles and whimpers. Alex was suddenly overwhelmed with a calm, peaceful sensation and closed her eyes as she melted even further into Olivia's lap, letting go of whatever little tension was left in her body. Eventually Alex was not crying at all, her eyes dry, even as her bottom was beginning to sting terribly. Olivia continued to spank for several long minutes after Alex stopped crying, allowing Alex time to savor the mild burning sensation. The pain was not intolerable and devastating like it was during a punishment. It was a different kind of pain. Alex embraced this pain as a welcome sensation, a familiar, comforting friend.

Sensing the end was near, Olivia gradually spanked even more gently until she was merely patting Alex's bottom with her hand. The last spank that landed on Alex's red bottom that evening was barely even a tap. Alex had spent over an hour over Olivia's lap being gently and lovingly spanked.

"Up." Olivia cooed, helping her naked wife to kneel up on her knees. Olivia took Alex's chin gently in her hand and tenderly brushed Alex's hair from her face, noting with relief that Alex's baby blue eyes were no longer lifeless and empty. They were calm and alert.

Olivia helped Alex up from the bed and guided her naked wife over to the full-length mirror in their bedroom and allowed Alex to look at her bottom in the mirror. She again kept up a steady stream of gentle chatter as she allowed Alex spend a few minutes looking at her bottom and running her hand over the warmth, the warm feeling of her skin grounding her even further in reality. Alex began to shiver and goosebumps rose on her skin from the cool air in the room.

"Come here, baby girl."

Olivia lovingly dressed Alex in a warm pair of pajamas and lead the woman out of the bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen where she assisted Alex in kneeling by the table with her hands behind her back grasping her elbows and her stinging bottom resting on her heels. Olivia moved about the kitchen and made Alex one of her favorite meals, bringing it to the table and sitting down in the chair before guiding her wife up from her kneeling position to once again sit on Olivia's lap. Olivia slowly and carefully fed Alex by hand, using her other hand to gently stroke Alex's long blonde hair and cooing to her tenderly as she ate. Alex obediently cleaned her plate and then laid her head on Olivia's shoulder, signaling that she was full. Olivia spent a few minutes cuddling Alex at the table, gently reaching under the fabric of her pajama top to rub her satisfied belly.

"Okay, sweetheart, it's bedtime." Olivia cooed.

Olivia lovingly placed Alex in bed on her stomach, pulling Alex's pajama pants to just below her cherry red bottom. Olivia climbed into bed beside her and began to tenderly rub her bottom, lulling her into a deep, peaceful sleep. Once satisfied that Alex was soundly asleep, Olivia carefully got up from the bed, gently pulled Alex's pajama bottoms back into place, covered her with the sheets, kissed her sweet face, and tip-toed out of the room.

The next morning, the two women woke up and Olivia was delighted to have her cheerful, talkative, mischievous little Alex back. It happened to be a glorious Saturday, and over breakfast they planned out how they would spend their weekend together. The possibilities were endless.


End file.
